


It's Just a Dance

by Miko



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-23
Updated: 2009-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-21 08:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just supposed to be a dance, not a life-shattering event.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Just a Dance

When had he gotten so _big_?

I knew he was tall, but it was so much more impressive from up close when he could tuck me under his chin and still have room left over. And when had his shoulders gotten so broad, or his chest and arms so muscled?

"Maka."

We _live_ together. He's always stumbling out of his room in the morning dressed in just a pair of loose shorts and a tank top. How could I have missed noticing it when he stopped being a boy, and became something a lot closer to a man?

"Oi, Maka."

Maybe it was just the contrast? The last time we danced together I was still able to look him straight in the eyes. His shoulder hadn't felt like a solid piece of granite beneath my hand. Could he really have grown up so much in just one year?

"Maka!"

"What?" I jumped, startled, and looked up to find Soul's red eyes glaring down at me.

"You're the one that dragged me onto the dance floor," he growled. "At least pay attention! I'm not doing this again."

His deep voice rumbled in his chest. It was a weird sensation when I was pressed close enough to him to actually _feel_ it, and it made me shiver. My cheeks went hot - no, hotter. I was already overheated, almost feverish. What in the world was wrong with me?

"Hey. You okay?" His scowl turned into a frown. He let go with one hand and laid the back against my forehead. "You're bright red. Idiot. Why didn't you say something, if you were getting sick?" Now the scowl was back, but the look in his eyes was still worried. "You really wanted to go to the dance _that_ badly?"

"I'm not sick," I said, wondering if I was telling the truth. I dropped my eyes, because it felt like the weight of his gaze was pressing against me, making it hard to breathe. Maybe I was sick after all. "It's hot, that's all. There are too many people in here."

To my disappointment and dismay, Soul sighed and stopped dancing. "So go stand outside, if you're so hot." He grabbed my hand and towed me towards the balcony.

"Hey!" Damn it, there went all my hard work cajoling him into dancing with me. He's such a _good_ dancer, I have no idea why he seems to object to it so strongly. It's like pulling teeth to get him onto the dance floor, and usually I don't manage it. "That was only half a dance. That doesn't count. Soul, you promised!"

"Under duress," he snorted. When I opened my mouth to protest further, though, he waved me off. "Fine, fine, I'll keep my promise. As soon as you stop looking like you're about to faint."

Though the air outside had been warm and balmy earlier that day, the light breeze felt like a slap of ice against my skin. I shivered, suddenly regretting the backless, shoulderless dress I'd chosen for the ball. Then again, hadn't I been too hot just a moment before?

Soul stopped and looked down at me, then drew me to one side of the doorway so we weren't blocking it. He took my chin in his fingers, gently enough that it wouldn't hurt but firm enough that I knew I wasn't getting away without a fight, and turned my face up so the moonlight fell on it. "Are you hot or cold?" he demanded. "Make up your damned mind."

"I..." The word emerged as a squeak, and I couldn't force another sound out. My throat had gone as dry as the desert. He loomed over me like an irritated, protective shadow, his suit blending into the equally dark stones in the dim light. The reflection of the candles in his eyes made them almost seem to glow from within, and his sharp teeth gleamed. When had he gotten so close?

I shivered again, my heart pounding in my chest so hard it was a wonder he couldn't hear it. Really, what was _wrong_ with me? I'm not afraid of Soul, I could never be afraid of him. He's my partner and I trust him, and he's saved my life too many times to count. He would never hurt me, so why was I suddenly acting like I was scared of him leaning over me?

"Twit," he said, and finally let go. "You really _are_ getting sick. Stay here, I'll get you some punch or something."

I nodded, not lifting my eyes from the fascinating pattern of stones at my feet. Not having to stare up at him was helping me regain a little composure, at least. Maybe if I didn't look at him for long enough, I would recover and everything would go back to normal again.

Something warm and soft settled over my bare skin, and I was enveloped in the musky scent I associate with Soul. I forgot my new resolution not to look at him; when I glanced up, I saw him sauntering back to the party, now dressed only in his shirtsleeves.

Sure enough, the light wool fabric draped over my shoulders was his suit jacket. It was big enough to hold two of me, but if I held the edges and pulled it close it was almost like having him wrapped around me. I snuggled into it with a vague feeling of guilt. For what, I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to poke at the feeling too hard to find out.

Soul made it maybe three feet past the door before he was ambushed. Liz and Patti appeared out of nowhere and attached themselves to him, one on each arm. "What the..." Soul said, startled.

Liz made the most pathetic, pleading face I'd ever seen and cut him off. " _Please_ , Soul, you have to rescue us," Liz begged.

"Damsels in distress!" Patti chimed in, nodding vigorously.

"Kid is going to drive us insane," Liz continued desperately. "Last year he spent the _whole dance_ making us do one move over and over until it was perfect, at least until Medusa ruined things. Now he's measuring off the dance floor and marking it with chalk, so the dance is perfectly symmetrical."

"So?" Soul growled, eyebrows drawing together. "What's that got to do with me?"

"I just want one dance, one normal dance I can actually enjoy!" Liz said. "Besides, if we're dancing with someone else, maybe he won't drag us into it."

"Dance for real," Patti said, giggling.

"Find someone else. I don't dance," Soul said dismissively, and tried to turn away. They only clung to him harder.

"You were just dancing with Maka," Liz pointed out. "You're good at it! Don't be shy." I had to cough to cover a snicker at the idea of Soul being _shy_. This was highly entertaining.

His scowl deepened. "That's different. She blackmailed me." He glared back over his shoulder at me, and I smiled innocently and wiggled my fingers at them in a wave. I'd spent weeks doing research, gathering material, making certain that _this_ year Soul wouldn't be able to wriggle off the hook. There was no way anyone else would be able to convince him to dance.

"So? Consider this extortion," Liz said cheerfully. "Patti, time for you to throw in your two cents."

The younger Thompson sister was normally so happy and easy-going that it was always a shock when she _did_ turn serious. I gulped at the fierceness of her glare, and it wasn't even directed at me. Soul looked stunned. "Dance with us, or I'll fucking crush you," Patti declared.

Obviously panicked, Soul looked around for something to rescue him. He saw me, and sighed with relief. "Look, I can't. I'm supposed to be getting Maka a drink. She's not feeling well."

"Oh? What a shame." Liz gave me a sympathetic look. "But that's okay. Patti can get her a drink while you dance with me, and then we can switch. That's even better! You don't mind if we borrow Soul for a few minutes, do you Maka?"

What was I supposed to say to that? The situation was a lot less amusing now that it looked like they were actually going to win, but it would have been petty of me to refuse. Besides, what real claim did I have on Soul's time? He was my partner, not my boyfriend. I couldn't stop him from dancing with other girls.

Something sour squirmed in my stomach, and I think my expression was a little sickly when I smiled at Liz. "No, of course not," I said. "I'll just be out here enjoying the cool air."

"See?" Liz said brightly, hauling at Soul's arm again. "She's fine. Well, not fine. You really do look awful, Maka. Maybe you should go lie down somewhere?"

"No, I just need a few minutes to recover," I said. No way was I going to toddle off home and leave Soul in their clutches. At the very least, I could rescue him after a few minutes by insisting he keep his promise to me. From the look in her eyes, I didn't think Liz was really going to let him get away with just 'a few minutes'.

"All right! Fine. _One_ dance," Soul growled, and allowed himself to be dragged off to the dance floor.

I leaned against the doorway and watched as my partner took Liz in his arms. Liz was much taller than me; not as tall as Soul, but enough to be able to easily talk to him and see his face, even from that close. She looked happy, and despite the sullen expression on Soul's face, the thought crossed my mind that they looked really good together.

For some reason that didn't sit well with me, and I brushed the thought away like an irritating fly.

"Somebody's got a cru-ush."

The sing-song chant from behind me startled me so much I jumped, and it felt like my heart leapt into my throat. I turned to see Patti smiling up at me, holding out a glass of punch as promised. "Thank you," I said automatically, though my mind was locked on what she'd just said. An odd feeling of panic was creeping up on me, as if she was looking right into my soul and there was something there I didn't want her to see. I reluctantly untangled one hand from Soul's jacket and accepted the glass. "Wh-who are you talking about?"

"Liz," Patti clarified, hopping up to sit on the railing so she could swing her feet, giggling.

"What?" My first reaction was relief. Then what she'd said actually sank in, and I felt stunned. Liz? Had a crush on Soul?

"For like, a month now," Patti said, nodding and grinning like she was sharing something amusing. "It's funny to watch. She all 'hey, look at me, I'm hot!'." She posed for a moment like a flirting girl, then stuck her nose in the air and crossed her arms over her chest. "And he's all 'pfft, whatever, I'm too cool for girls.'." She snickered and dropped the pose. "Maybe tonight he'll get the hint. If she tries any harder, she's gonna fall out of her dress."

I looked at the two of them, and sure enough Liz was dressed to kill, with enough cleavage showing to smother a man. I glanced back at Patti, who actually had the bigger chest of the two of them, but her dress wasn't nearly as low-cut despite being identical in every other way.

A low, familiar chuckle cut through the noise of the crowd, and this time when I looked I saw that Soul was laughing. It's not something he did often, but I'd heard it before. Never quite like that, though. There was a thread of warmth beneath it that made the sound anything but innocent.

Were they dancing too close together? Soul's arm was all the way across Liz's back, when with me his hand had rested just short of my spine. For that matter Liz had her arm wrapped around Soul's neck, not just a hand on his shoulder. She was smiling up at him with an invitation clear in her expression, and from the look in Soul's eyes, it wasn't entirely unappreciated.

"I think he noticed," I said flatly. My voice came out cold and hard, and I felt an answering lump of ice in my chest. Soul was _my_ partner. Mine! He wasn't supposed to look at other people like that. He was as bad as Papa, flirting with any pretty girl who came along, any shameless hussy who threw herself at him like a cat in heat...

"Maka! Are you jealous?" Patti asked, her eyes wide and alarmed.

"What?" Jolted out of my increasingly angry thoughts, I blinked at her. "J-jealous? Why would I be..."

It hit me then, with the force of a blow. Oh gods, she was _right_. The sick feeling in my gut, the ice in my chest, the anger over Soul's flirting... I was acting like a jealous girlfriend, and I had no right. Soul wasn't _cheating_ on me, there was no rule that said a weapon had to stay glued to his meister's side at all times. Unlike my Mama and Papa, I had no claim on him beyond that professional relationship.

Suddenly my earlier shivers and overheated sensation took on a whole new meaning, as did my preoccupation with Soul's body when we were dancing. I'd been oblivious to more than just Soul growing up, apparently. At some point I'd fallen in love with my partner, and never noticed until my nose was rubbed in my feelings.

"I'm not jealous," I lied, my voice faint with shock. I felt breathless and dizzy, and I couldn't stand even looking at Soul and Liz. It was as if, now that I'd realized the truth, it hurt that much more to see them together. "I'm just really not feeling well. I think Liz is right, I should go home and lie down."

Not waiting for her to answer, I pushed my way through the crowd and headed for the door. Halfway there I realized that I should return Soul's jacket to him, and I paused. One look convinced me I didn't want to go anywhere near them. They were even closer now, Soul's head bent to put his face close to Liz's as they danced, and they looked beautiful together.

I couldn't deal with it. It was cowardly of me and I knew it, but I fled with my tail between my legs and my heart so heavy it felt like I would never be happy again.

* * *

Normally I'm the kind of person who falls asleep easily. Maybe it's because I fill my days with so much activity: studying, training, going on missions, or just hanging out with my friends. Tonight, though I longed for the oblivion of sleep, my mind simply refused to shut down. I lay there in my bed, curled up beneath the blankets, with Soul's jacket still draped over me. I hadn't been able to bring myself to let it go, wrapping it around me like a comforter and wallowing in the scent of him.

I was being pathetic. Worse, I was being _stupid_. I might not have a claim on Soul, but Liz didn't have a claim on him yet, either. He was obviously interested in her, but one dance wouldn't make them a couple. If I told him tomorrow how I felt...

Gods, but what if he didn't feel the same? What if it made things awkward, and ruined our partnership? The thought of losing him was more than I could stand, and it had nothing to do with how hard it would be for me to find a new weapon I could resonate with.

No. No. I couldn't let fear stop me. If I didn't tell him, I'd have to spend the rest of my life watching him with other women, just like my Mama had watched Papa. Except, unlike her, I'd have only myself to blame for my misery. Soul cared about me, I knew he did. It was obvious every time we matched our soul wavelengths, every time I held him in my hands in a fight. Surely if I just made my feelings clear, that caring could turn into something more.

Tomorrow, first thing, I would tell him what I had realized. I wouldn't let myself run from this. Having made the decision, the sick feeling finally left my gut and I was able to relax, even smile. Yes. Everything would be okay, as long as I had the courage to face him. I felt sleep creeping over me at last, and I welcomed it.

Some time later, a soft tapping at my door drew me from slumber. Still half asleep, I rubbed at my eyes and made a sound that hopefully Soul would interpret as an inquiry. He opened the door and stuck his head inside, then came all the way in when he saw I was awake.

"Hey," he said, coming over to lean down and check my temperature again. I blushed and fought the urge to squirm at how close he was. "You're still a little warm," he said, mistaking my flush. "You worried me, running out like that. Idiot. I came as soon as I realized you were gone."

"Sorry," I mumbled, still not awake enough for coherent speech. "You didn't have to leave."

He made a 'whatever' noise, then smiled and tugged at the blanket over my shoulders. "I'm gonna want that back, you know. But it can wait 'til morning."

Belatedly I realized that the 'blanket' was actually his jacket, which I was still snuggled into. With a mortified squeak I buried my face in my pillow, and he laughed. "Go back to sleep," he said, patting my head and ruffling my hair a bit. "I'll check on you again in the morning."

I flicked my fingers at him, waving at him to go away, and he chuckled again. The sound was low and smooth, and it made my heart flip-flop and did interesting things lower in my body. How had I not noticed before this how _hot_ he was?

He left my door open a crack, probably so he could hear me if I called for him in the night. That made me feel warm all over. Yes, he _did_ care about me, I knew it.

"She's okay," I heard him murmur to someone in our living room. "Still a little feverish, but she's sleeping."

"Oh, good." The voice was unmistakeably Liz, and my whole body went cold. "I'd have felt awful if I'd been distracting you when she was really sick!" Her voice changed from worried to seductive. "So, now that you've been reassured, why don't we..."

They moved out of range, and I couldn't hear the rest of what she said. I didn't _want_ to hear it. There was only one reason I could think of for Soul to bring her here, alone. For a moment I was angry that he was brazen enough to come _here_ with her, right in my home, right in _front_ of me - even Papa had never had that much nerve.

Then reason reasserted itself. It was Soul's home, too, and he had every right to bring a girl here if he wanted to. It was none of my business. I had no claim on him, and now I never would. One dance might not be enough for Liz to have a right to him, but this... this was different. Saying anything now would only lose me her friendship, and might even make Soul mad at me. It would _certainly_ make things awkward.

I pulled the jacket up over my head completely and plugged my ears, screwing my eyes shut as if that would help keep me from hearing anything as well.

* * *

All I really wanted was to hide under the covers and forget about the whole thing, but I was doomed to failure. I got away with lurking in my room for one day under the pretence of being 'sick', but after that Soul started making concerned noises about taking me to the infirmary. Faced with the prospect of trying to explain to the too-perceptive nurse why I was faking illness, I decided that getting out of bed was the lesser of evils after all.

"What's with you?" Soul asked as we packed up our books after class. "You've been dragging around like a lump all day. I thought you said you were better?"

"Yeah, you didn't answer a single question in class today," Liz said, looking up from filing her nails. "That's not like you. Still feeling under the weather?"

I kept my eyes glued to my books, because if I didn't I knew I was going to end up glaring at Liz. The elder Thompson girl had plunked herself down in the seat next to Soul first thing that morning, and proceeded to spend the whole class leaning over her books in such a way that Soul could get a good look down her shirt if he cared to. And he had - not that I'd been watching him or anything, but it was hard to miss when I was sitting on his other side.

"Oh, are you not feeling well, Maka?" Tsubaki asked.

The genuine concern from all of them just made me even crankier, especially from Liz. "I'm fine," I said, trying not to sound as sour as I felt. "I'm just tired, that's all."

"It's a shame you had to miss the rest of the ball," Liz said sympathetically. "Don't worry, though. I kept Soul from turning into a wallflower, since you couldn't."

"Tormented me all damned night, you mean," Soul grumbled. His words only confirmed what I'd already known, that Liz had spent the night with him. Hearing it from them made it hurt more, though.

Standing, I slammed the lid of my bag closed. It was soft fabric, so it only made an unsatisfying dull 'thud', but it was the best I could do. If I had to spend one more minute watching Liz flirt with him, I was going to break something. Or someone. "C'mon, Soul," I ordered. "Let's go see if there are any missions available. We've still got a long way to go before we've got ninety-nine souls again."

I'd expected him to jump at the idea. He was always ready and eager for a fight. So I was shocked when he frowned and shook his head. "Not until you're a hundred percent again," he said. "I don't want you passing out in the middle of a fight, or making yourself worse."

"Besides," Liz said while I stood there gaping at him. "Soul promised to help me train today. I'm starting to fall behind the rest of you. I suppose I'll have to subject myself to breaking a sweat occasionally." She pouted and gave a dramatic sigh, while Tsubaki and Patti giggled and the boys rolled their eyes.

"If you want help training, Liz, you should come to the best of the best," Black Star declared, jumping up to pose on top of the desk. He jabbed a thumb at his chest and grinned. "I, the great Black Star, master of the stage and arena, would be the obvious choice!"

"But you're so high above me, I couldn't hope to keep up with you," Liz cooed, batting her eyes at him. "I need someone in the middle to help me improve, first, before I can benefit from your wisdom and expertise. Right?" She smiled and attached herself to Soul's arm.

"Oi!" he objected, scowling at the implication that he was so far beneath Black Star, but he didn't shake her off.

Black Star was puzzling his way through her statement, trying to decide if she'd been complimenting him or not, but I didn't want to hang around for the rest of the conversation. Liz? _Train_? The girl who wouldn't even play a pickup game of basketball for fear of breaking a nail? Yeah, right. There was only one reason I could think of why she would be so determined to get Soul alone, and he seemed willing enough to go along with it.

"I'll be in the library, then," I said, hoping my voice didn't sound as choked to them as it did to me.

No such luck. "Oi, Maka," Soul started, frowning. Whatever it was he wanted to say, whatever platonic, friendly concern he wanted to voice, I definitely didn't want to hear it.

For the second time in three days I fled from my partner, feeling like my heart was being torn to shreds.

* * *

{Maka! Behind you!}

I barely got the scythe up and around in time to block the strike. The force of the blow sent me flying, and I struck a building hard enough to knock bricks loose. I nearly lost my grip on Soul.

Then I was frantically blocking again, trying to keep the two massive clubs wielded by the pre-kishin from connecting. If just one hit landed squarely, my bones would be so much powder inside my body.

{Pay attention,} Soul snapped. {That's twice you've nearly been hit because your head is in the clouds. What's the matter with you?}

"Nothing! My head is right where it belongs," I shouted, all the angrier because I knew he was right.

To my horror I felt Soul's shaft begin to give way under the unrelenting blows. He grunted in pain, and I broke away and leapt backwards again, trying to get out of range.

This was supposed to be an easy mission, almost beneath our level. That's what the assignment had said, but we were having far more trouble defeating the pre-kishin than we should have been. This was _not_ the time for my wits to be wandering.

Yet I couldn't stop thinking about Soul, the solid weight of him in my hands a constant reminder. For the first time, I had some sympathy for Death the Kid and his overwhelming obsessions. I finally understood how one thought could occupy your mind to the point that it was literally impossible to think about anything else.

One of the monster's clubs crashed into the wall bare inches from my head. Chips of brick went flying, and I felt at least two stinging lines on my face that meant I'd been hit. I ducked, knowing the second club would be right behind the first. I brought Soul up and around in a sweeping arc to cut the monster's legs out from under him.

At least, I tried to. It was a move I'd performed a hundred times before, but my arms felt strangely limp, as if I was suddenly too weak to handle the weight of the scythe.

Or... as if it had gotten heavier. The thought made my blood run cold. There was only one reason for something like that to happen.

{ _Maka_!} Soul partially transformed, lunging up out of the scythe and getting one blade arm above my head just in time to block the club heading right for it. The impact was hard enough to jar my whole body. There was an awful crunching noise that I was terrified was the sound of his arm breaking.

"Soul!"

"Stop worrying about me and concentrate on fighting," he said, red eyes glaring at me. Thank Shinigami, there was no indication of pain in his expression.

He melted back into the scythe as I rolled out from between the pre-kishin's legs. That left it caught between me and the wall, and confused for a critical moment. I chopped down with Soul, and we finally scored a hit: a deep gouge across its back and shoulder.

It roared with pain and fury, and lashed out blindly behind it. I saw that one club had a big chunk missing from it, the source of the earlier crunching. Once again I barely ducked out of the way, afraid now to use Soul to block lest the force of the blow damage him. If the shaft bent - or worse, broke - what would that do to his human self?

I didn't know, and I didn't want to find out. I couldn't bear the thought of his strong, beautiful body lying broken and bleeding at my feet. I just... I couldn't bear it.

Another near miss grazed my left shoulder hard enough to make the whole arm go numb, and I cried out as I almost dropped Soul. He was growing heavier, as if his weight was doubled with every passing minute. If this kept up, soon I wouldn't be able to lift him at all. Just like when Black Star had tried to wield him.

{We can't take him like this,} Soul growled, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine. Damn it, now was not the time for me to be distracted by the way his voice made my insides squirm! {We need to finish him off, fast. Use the Witch Hunter.}

I nodded, and jumped back far enough to grant us the necessary few moments to concentrate. "{Soul}," we spoke as one on the first word, but my voice froze in my throat and Soul finished the ritual incantation alone. {Resonance!}

I felt his soul pushing at mine, struggling to connect and merge. Panicked, I tried to shield mine from him, something I had never done before. In that instant when I'd felt the first touch of his soul, I'd realized something that should have been obvious.

When our souls resonated together, it worked like a kind of empathy. I could feel his mind, and he could feel mine. If I allowed us to connect now, there was no way I could hide my new obsession with him. He would know everything in an instant.

With a frantic cry I dropped him, scrambling back in an instinctive attempt to put distance between us. I couldn't let him find out. I _couldn't_. It would change everything, make things awkward between us. I'd never be able to look him in the face again.

{ _MAKA!_ } he cried, aghast, and a moment later he'd transformed - putting himself squarely in the path of the massive club already headed straight for me. I'd _forgotten_ about the monster, forgotten about our mission and what we were supposed to be doing. In my panic, I'd forgotten everything but him.

This time the horrible sound of impact _was_ Soul's body breaking, and I screamed. Soul tumbled into my arms as I leapt to catch him. He was coughing up blood and curled around himself in agony.

 _"SOUL!"_ It felt like the word was torn right out of my heart, bypassing my throat and leaving a gaping hole behind.

He clutched at my arm - still alive, thank Shinigami-sama and all the other gods - and looked up at me. I'd expected to see pain and anger in his face. Instead his beautiful red eyes were full of confusion and betrayal. "Why... didn't... you link... with me?"

I choked on a sob, and only then realized that tears were running down my face. The price of keeping my secret was going to be his life, because there was nothing I could do to protect us without him in my hand. Too high, I wanted to scream. Too high a price, but I'd already made my choice and now I had to die with it.

I huddled over him, cradling him in my arms. The blow would hit me first, and neither of us would see it coming - that was the best I could do, now. At least we would go together.

The monster roared, and I heard the whistle of the club through the air. I braced myself, but the crushing impact never came. Instead there was a series of explosions that left my ears ringing, and a shriek of pain from the pre-kishin. I looked up, disbelieving.

"Maka! Soul!" Death the Kid came soaring in on his skateboard, Liz and Patti firing so fast I couldn't see the individual shots.

"Kid!" I'd never been so grateful to see anyone. At that moment, I'd even have welcomed my Papa.

"Stay there, we'll handle this," the young shinigami commanded us. He regarded the pre-kishin with an expression of disdain. "I see that you, too appreciate the perfect symmetry of matched weapons, but you're a hundred years too early to defeat us." With a yell he dove in to attack again, guns blazing.

I clung to Soul, praying with all my heart that he would be all right. If only we both got through this okay, I would make sure I _never_ allowed my problems to get him hurt, ever again.

No matter what it cost me.

In a period of time so short it would have embarrassed me if I hadn't been so preoccupied with Soul, Kid had defeated the pre-kishin. Its soul hung in the air, burning with the ugly red fire that marked someone who had eaten human souls.

"Liz, you eat this one," Kid ordered imperiously. "Patti's got one more than you right n... Liz? Liz!"

The elder Thompson sister wasn't paying any attention to her meister. She'd transformed and dropped to her knees beside us, her hands hovering over Soul like she wanted to touch but was afraid to cause more damage. "Soul! Are you... no, that's stupid, of course you're not all right. Where are you hurt? Is there anything I can do?"

I wanted to growl at her to back off, and fought the urge to yank Soul out of her reach. "I'm fine," Soul blatantly lied. "Maka's hurt, help her first."

"Idiot," I exclaimed, fresh tears rolling down my face. "I'm only scratched, you're the one who's hurt." Why did he have to be so damned _chivalrous_ , so sweet and protective, always putting me before him and making me fall for him all the harder?

"You're both hurt, and we need to get you both back to Death City," Kid said firmly, putting an end to the argument before it could really get started. "You're just lucky we happened to be... Patti! Don't take that!"

While none of us was paying attention, Patti had collected the soul and absorbed it. She flashed a victory sign in response to Kid's anguished cry.

"No! What have you done?" Kid moaned, dropping to his knees and clutching at his head. "Now you have _two_ more than Liz. It's unbearable. I have no right to call myself a meister, let alone a shinigami. I should just give up and die right here..."

"Kid!" If I hadn't been supporting Soul's weight with both hands, I'd have brained the young shinigami. "Soul's _hurt_ , this is no time for you to be worrying about how many souls they each have!"

"I'm sorry," he whimpered, head on the ground and a palpable aura of gloom hovering over him. "I'm such a failure, I don't deserve to go on..."

"I'll handle this," Liz said with a resigned sigh. She turned away from us and patted him on the shoulder. "Now, now. It won't take us any time at all to collect two souls for me to eat, really!"

"Maka..." Soul squeezed my hand, and I knew he was going to ask again why I had refused to synch with him.

I couldn't answer that in any way that wouldn't condemn me forever, so I shook my head. "Later," I whispered, though I had no intention of ever allowing the subject to come up again.

He scowled at me, eyes narrowed suspiciously, but finally nodded. It was an indication of just how injured he was that he didn't force the issue, and that only strengthened my resolve to do what I had to do.

* * *

"You're _what_?"

Soul looked like I'd just told him Black Star had died - stunned and in shock, completely unable to comprehend what he was hearing.

"I'm leaving," I repeated, forcing my voice to stay firm. "I need to take time off to think about some things, and it's not fair to you to make you wait around. So you should find yourself another meister. There are lots of unpartnered meisters in Shibusen; any of them would jump at the chance to have you."

"I don't want them, I want _you_!" Soul protested. The words actually felt like a blow to my chest, my heart hurt so badly. "What the hell is there to _think_ about?"

"A lot of things, and I don't want to discuss them with you," I said stubbornly.

Now he looked hurt, as if I'd wounded him somehow. "You can't leave, Maka. We're a team!"

"No, we're not," I said, and despite my best efforts a tear escaped to roll down my cheek. "Not anymore." I knew he would think I meant because I was leaving, but the truth was far worse than that. Not only could I not resonate my soul to his without revealing my pathetic crush on him, I was deathly afraid that I wouldn't be able to wield him at all. In trying to hide the truth from him, I'd thrown our souls so far out of synch we might never be able to fix it.

He deserved better than that; deserved better than a partner so lost in her emotions she couldn't even wield him. He was so strong, and getting stronger every day. I had no doubt that he would become a Deathscythe - I only doubted now that I would be the one to help him get there.

"Maka, look at me," he demanded, but I shook my head and turned away. "Maka!" I heard him try to get up to grab me, but he grunted with pain and collapsed back against the pillows immediately, defeated by his injuries.

I headed blindly towards the door, my vision blurred by the tears I could no longer hold back. I promptly ran right into someone, a woman who exclaimed in surprise and steadied me by the shoulders so I wouldn't fall. "Maka! What in Shinigami's name?"

My heart sank, and I looked up to find the _last_ person I wanted to see. Liz was alone, which was highly unusual. Obviously she'd been coming to see Soul. Probably she intended to 'keep him company', too. For one moment, I hated her for stealing him from me.

No, no. I couldn't let thoughts like that poison me against my friends. It's none of my business what they do together. Of course she was worried about her boyfriend, and wanted to be with him. I was the interloper here, not her.

She looked from me to him and back again with a raised eyebrow. "Am I interrupting?" she asked uncertainly. "I can come back later."

" _Yes_ ," Soul snarled, at the same moment I shouted, " _No_!"

"I was just leaving," I choked out, before he could say anything else. "I... Please, take care of him." It was as close as I could bring myself to letting her know that she had my blessing, and that I wouldn't try to interfere. I bowed quickly, and then all but ran from the room.

Soul's voice carried down the hall, chasing after me all the way to the exit. "Maka, don't you dare run away. You can't leave me like this. _Maka_!"

Sobbing, I did the only thing I could do if I really loved him - I walked out of his life and set him free.

* * *

By the time a few weeks had passed, I was thoroughly miserable. Going to class was such a torment that I'd caught myself seriously considering dropping out of Shibusen entirely. No matter how far away I sat, I couldn't escape seeing Soul, sitting with Liz and the others. Only the fact that I _knew_ I would later regret giving up my life-long dream kept me stubbornly in class day after day.

Even if I'd been ready, I couldn't begin to think about looking for another partner. Not until Soul found someone else, which he showed no signs of doing. At least he'd stopped trying to corner me or talk to me, after the first week. Now he just watched me constantly from across the room, looking at least as miserable as I felt. That only made me feel _worse_ , because the whole point of torturing myself like this was so that he could move on with his life and find someone who could make him happy.

Liz was certainly trying her best. I hardly saw him without her attached to his arm anymore. Every time I encountered them I ground my teeth and told myself repeatedly that I had no right to be jealous, and I almost managed to be civil.

As bad as the days were, though, the nights were far worse. Mama's big house was empty while she was travelling, so I'd moved back there. But it was _too_ empty; the echo of my footsteps made me feel as hollow as the house.

It was at night that I missed Soul's familiar presence the most. The casual comfort of watching a movie together on the couch, being able to fall asleep knowing he was just on the other side of the wall, even the frequent arguments over who'd left the bathroom a mess or burned the food - all of it was gone, the memories echoing in my heart like my footsteps in the halls.

Maybe that was why I was ambushed so easily. It wouldn't have been the first time I'd longed so much for the feel of him that I imagined his presence in the house. It wasn't until he spoke that I realized he was actually _there_.

"Maka." His voice seemed even deeper than usual, and I felt warmth shudder through my body.

I stared at him, frozen in the entranceway. "H-how did you get _in_ here?" I blurted out, panicked. I couldn't deal with this right now, couldn't deal with _him_. Having him so close after weeks of being apart was eroding my already fragile composure. It took everything I had not to throw myself into his arms and beg him to forgive me and take me back.

He shrugged, hands shoved in his pockets, leaning against the doorway to the living room in a pose that should have looked casual, but didn't. There was too much tension in his body, like a pale panther readying himself to pounce. "I broke the lock on the back door," he admitted. "I'll pay to have it fixed."

"You... you _what_?" Words failed me for a moment as I tried to picture him doing such a thing. Well, no, it wasn't that hard to picture. He could be remarkably aggressive, and once he set his sights on something nothing would sway him. But... " _Why_?"

"Because this is apparently the only way I can get you to come near me," he said, his red eyes flashing with anger and determination as he pushed away from the wall and prowled towards me. He caught my hand in his before I realized what he intended, and hauled me to the living room. "We have unfinished business to settle."

It was walk or be dragged - his grip on my hand was just short of painful, and I couldn't get free no matter how hard I tugged. "Soul, you're hurting me!" I protested, hoping to guilt him into easing up.

"No, I'm not," he said, glaring at me. "I know exactly how much you can take. Don't lie to me, Maka."

I looked away, shamed. I hadn't thought of it that way, but he was right. I didn't want to lie to him. I didn't want to tell him the _truth_ , but there was too much trust between us for me to break that with stupid lies.

He hit a button on the stereo as we passed it, and slow music began playing. Bewildered, I looked around and saw that he'd pushed all the furniture against the wall to create a clear space in the middle. When he turned and put his other hand at my waist, I realized what he intended.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, my voice a little shrill. I tried to resist as he began to dance, but it was like standing in a downpour without an umbrella and trying not to get wet. Impossible and unrelenting.

"I still have a promise to keep," he said, moving with the slow beat and forcing me to move with him. "We never got to finish that dance."

"You broke into Mama's house just to _dance_ with me?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh, or cry. It was worse than torture to be this close to him, revelling in the feel of his strong body so close to mine and knowing it was something I could never have.

"This whole mess started at the ball," Soul asserted, still glaring. "You've been acting weird since that dance. I figured maybe if I recreated it, I could figure out what the hell went wrong."

"Nothing went wrong!" I shook my head, trying not to meet his eyes without blatantly avoiding his gaze. "It had nothing to do with the dance..."

"Bullshit," he interrupted, eyes narrowing. "I'm not giving up this easily, Maka. I'll get it out of you one way or another. What are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding anything!" I realized I sounded hysterical, but I couldn't seem to calm myself. The wild beating of my heart made my voice shake and my whole body tremble. "Soul, let me go! I don't want to do this."

His hands tightened on me, and he growled. "I don't care," he snapped back. "Prove it. If you're not hiding anything, then resonate with me."

" _What?_ " I thought I'd been panicked before. Now I learned a whole new definition of the word.

"Resonate with me," he insisted. "Do that, prove to me that you're not hiding something and really want me gone, and I'll go. I'll never bother you again. But not until you _prove it_."

I felt his soul pushing at mine, almost _shoving_ , threatening to roll right over me. Frantically I tried to break free, but he had me well and truly caught in his arms and he was so much stronger than I was. I had two choices; resonate, or shield myself from him completely. If I did that, I knew I would never be able to synch with him again. Let him find out the truth, or lose him forever?

I'd thought I had already made that horrible decision when I'd chosen to set him free, but given a second chance my heart betrayed me. I'd been so miserable without him, so lonely and desperate to have him back, that I found myself matching with his soul despite my best intentions to shut him out.

I felt the merge begin, felt his wild anger sweep over me - followed by crushing despair and almost paralysing fear. I hadn't even thought he was capable of feeling those things, and it caught me completely by surprise. The shock made me forget to struggle for a moment, and before I knew it the merge was complete.

Our souls resonated together, sparking and flaring against each other occasionally because of the friction between us. It was far from the best resonance we'd ever achieved, but it served its purpose.

His recreation of the dance we'd shared at the ball meant that my thoughts and feelings about that event were close to the surface. I had no hope of hiding them, and I felt him absorb them all. The way being so close to him had made me feel; the awareness of how much he'd grown; my sudden realization of what was wrong with me; even the horrible jealousy I'd felt when he'd danced with Liz. It was all right there, written large across my heart for him to see.

"That's _it_?" he said, incredulous. " _That's_ what you've been hiding? That's why you tried to break up our partnership?"

Then, to my shock, he started to laugh. It was a real laugh, not just a chuckle. His body shook so hard with it that he finally stopped dancing and lowered his face to bury it in my hair, though he didn't loosen his grip. All I could sense from him was overwhelming relief, bordering on hysteria. There was more beneath that, but I couldn't reach past without increasing our connection further.

Of all the possible ways I'd imagined he might react if he ever found out, this definitely wasn't one of them. I stared at his chest as he laughed, nonplussed and a little hurt. I started to struggle against the resonance again, trying to break free and distance myself from him. "What the hell is _funny_ about all this?" I finally demanded.

"I thought you'd found someone else you wanted as your partner more, and you were trying to let me down easy," Soul said, his voice choked with laughter. "I was starting to seriously wonder if I could get away with just killing whoever it was, so you'd have to take me back again."

"Of course not!" I was horrified by the very idea. The thought of having to find a new partner after he'd moved on would have been depressing even without taking into account my crush on him. Find someone I wanted _more_ than Soul? Impossible.

He was still laughing, and I started to get mad. How dared he act like it was some kind of.. of... of _joke_? How could he have resonated so closely to me, and yet brush off my feelings like this? "Well, I'm glad _someone_ is entertained by this," I said coldly, my hand itching for the weight of my book. If I'd had it with me, I'd have hit him so hard he wouldn't wake up for a week. "Let me go. You got your answer."

"Maka..." He pulled back and looked at me, but though he opened his mouth several times, nothing came out. There was an odd look in his eyes, like a flame burning behind the red iris that threatened to eat me alive. I could feel an answering fire deep in his soul, reaching towards me, and I shied away from it. Finally he just shook his head and gave me a crooked smile. "You're an idiot," he told me, his voice husky.

Then he shocked me again by leaning down and kissing me.

I made a startled noise, my lips parting slightly, and he took advantage of it by pressing his tongue deeper into my mouth. The feel of it trailing slowly over the surface of my lips was like lightning pouring through my body, and he licked at every inch like he was trying to memorize the taste of me. I could feel the barest hint of the sharpness of his teeth, and every time they grazed my skin an extra jolt shot through me.

The physical sensation alone would have been enough for me to drown in, but the connection brought our souls close together again. I was deluged with a rush of emotions from him that threatened to sweep me away entirely. Love, lust, and need; desire and joy and relief; a fierce exultation and determination not to ever, ever let me go again.

When he finally pulled back I gasped for air, my body urgently reminding me that oxygen was more necessary than pulling him back down to kiss me again. I wasn't sure I agreed, but maybe it was for the best. There were questions I needed answered before I could begin to sort out my own feelings. "What about Liz?"

"Liz? What about her?" Soul asked, his brows drawing together in a puzzled frown. "She's not a part of this."

"She's your girlfriend! Of course she's a part of this!" I protested, my heart sinking. Was Soul more like my Papa than I'd thought? Could he go so easily from one lover to the next, taking his own pleasure without any thought for the heartbroken woman he left behind? I'd thought he was different, better than that, but...

"My _girlfriend_?" I could feel his shock. He stared blankly at me. "Where the _hell_ did you get _that_ idea?"

Despite myself a rush of memories swept over me, and I knew he could see them as well. The two of them dancing, Patti telling me about Liz's feelings, the way they'd spent so much time together afterwards - and most damning of all, the words I'd accidentally overheard the night of the ball, when she'd spent the night at our apartment, with him.

"Stupid." He shook me slightly, to bring my focus back to him in the present. He was scowling at me, but I could feel the warmth of his rather smug amusement through our bond. "She didn't spend the night. Though, not for lack of trying on her part. As if I'd let myself be distracted when I was worried about you being sick. As if I'd want some other girl, at all!"

"But... but I saw the way you looked at her," I said, confused. I could tell he wasn't lying, but it didn't match what I'd seen and heard for myself. "When you were dancing, and after..."

"Sure, she's hot," he said with a shrug. "Why shouldn't I look? I was flattered she wanted me so bad."

He wasn't telling the whole truth, I could sense that. Slowly but steadily our synchronization was improving, our souls coming closer to truly merging than ever before. There was a complicated mix of emotions whenever he thought about Liz; not nearly as intense as what I'd felt from him when he'd kissed me, but it wasn't as straightforward as he was making it out to be.

He must have felt my disbelief, because he sighed. "All right, yes, I thought about taking her up on it," he admitted. "She offered herself, no strings attached. I've been so frustrated, waiting so long for you to notice me back, not even sure you would _ever_ look at me that way. But in the end, I couldn't do it. I want you, not her."

"B-but... but she's so much more attractive than I am," I said in a small voice, hating myself for sounding like a little girl begging for reassurance. "She's older, and she knows what to wear to make herself look good, and she uses makeup and nail polish, and she's got a much bigger chest..." How often had he teased me about not being very well developed? I knew I wasn't, I could hardly avoid realizing it, but I'd never felt so self-conscious about it before.

"So? Maybe I like flat-chested girls," he said, his voice gone deep and husky. The sound matched the heat of his emotions, and both made me shiver.

He tugged my hand with his to get me moving, and started dancing again. We were closer now, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body, close enough to smell the intoxicating scent of him. But we still weren't touching anywhere other than our clasped hands, his hand at my waist and mine on his shoulder.

That reminded me of the reason I'd been so jealous of him dancing with Liz in the first place. "Why don't you dance with me like you did with her?" I demanded, trying to sound firm and not let him feel how much I'd been hurt by it. "I have to _blackmail_ you to dance with me and you do it like you can't wait to get away, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself with her."

"Because I don't have the same problem dancing with her that I do with you," he told me, giving me a sardonic grin.

"P-problem?" I sputtered, incensed. I wasn't _that_ bad a dancer! I hadn't stepped on his foot once at the ball. I'd spent hours practicing alone in my room, just so he wouldn't have that excuse not to dance with me again.

"Not that," he growled. " _This_." He slid his arm all the way around my waist and cinched me close to him, pulling me right up on tiptoe as he leaned down to kiss me again, hard.

And suddenly I knew exactly what his 'problem' was, because I could feel him hot and solid against me, his body's interest in mine unmistakable. I could also feel what _he_ felt, feel how much it affected him to have me so close to him. I squeaked into his mouth, my heart racing as I felt a blush warm my cheeks. He chuckled, the same rich, sensuous sound I'd heard him make when dancing with Liz.

He didn't hold me there long, just enough to get his point across. Then he let me slide down his body to stand properly, but still held me much closer than before. When he broke the kiss this time I hid my face against his shoulder, embarrassed. Not by what he'd done so much as my own reaction to it. He made me feel as shameless as... as Blair. And worse, I knew he could sense that in me.

"S-soul," I whispered, my voice shaking. "I... I can't..." Part of me wanted to fling myself at him and find out just how good it would feel to do something like _that_ while our souls resonated so closely, but the rest of me knew I would regret rushing into it, later. "I'm not ready..."

"I can wait," he said, the hand at my back slowly stroking up and down my spine in a way that was both soothing and maddening at the same time. "It wouldn't be cool at all to push you. At least now I have hope." Gently he let up on the pressure of his soul, and allowed the connection to fade. There were two of us again, instead of one soul with two minds and two bodies.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked. It wasn't like Soul not to speak his mind about something he wanted.

"I _did_ ," he said. "How many different ways do I have to say 'I'd die to protect you' before you get the idea?"

"Oh." That left me speechless for a moment, as I thought about all the times he'd risked his life to protect me, and the way he'd always, _always_ put me first. "Why didn't I ever feel it when we resonated, then?" I was absolutely certain I'd never felt anything from him before that was at all like what I'd sensed when we'd kissed.

He snorted in amusement. "Because, apparently unlike you, I'm capable of keeping my mind on business. I'm not thinking about _that_ in the middle of a battle, only about how to win and keep you safe."

I smacked him on the chest, hard, because he deserved it. He winced, but just held me a little tighter in response. "So, are you going to come home, now?" he asked. "Or am I going to have to drag you?"

"Not yet," I said, and smiled against his shoulder when he growled.

"What? Why not?" he demanded. "What the hell do I have to do to get you to..."

I couldn't quite reach high enough to kiss him to shut him up, so I compromised by putting a hand over his mouth. He glared down at me, his eyes intense with frustrated emotion, and I smiled at him.

"You still owe me a full dance, first" I told him firmly. "You're not wiggling off the hook that easily."

Slowly he smiled, the curve of his lips against my palm making me shiver. I pulled it away, and the fanged grin he was giving me was full of something that was both a threat and a promise. "I wouldn't dream of it," he said. "You can have as many dances as you want. I like having you this close, now that I don't have to worry about you getting _too_ close and freaking out on me."

"Then we might not get home for a while," I said, and tucked my head under his chin.

He chuckled again and tightened his hold on me. "Good thing this CD is long, then."

I sighed with happiness. Liz would just have to live with disappointment. He's _my_ partner, and we fit too perfectly together. Body, mind - and Soul.


End file.
